CordyWhite and BuffyRed
by Acacia Jules
Summary: A parody of the Grimm fairy tale “SnowWhite and RoseRed”, using Cordelia and Buffy. Enjoy! AC , BS


bDisclaimer:/bObviously, I don't own any of the characters, no matter how much I WISH I did. They belong to the idiot Joss and the WB, though Joss is a revered God. Any other characters, I created, like Derek.   
  
  
bCordy-White and Buffy-Red /b  
IBy Jules/i  
  
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There was once a poor watcher who lived alone in his home with his two young charges, who were called Cordy-White and Buffy-Red, because they were like the flowers which boomed on the two rosebushes which grew before the house. These two teens were as good, happy, diligent, and likeable as any in the world, only Cordy-White was more attractive and friendly then Buffy-Red.   
  
Buffy-Red would run and jump about the cemeteries staking vampires and other demons, while Cordy-White like to dance, go out with boys, or help the watcher, Giles, look up things if there were nothing else to do.  
  
  
The two girls worried about each other so much that they always went out after dark together, and when Cordy-White said, "We will never let any thing separate us from each other," Buffy-Red replied, "Never, not even a handsome vampire, with a soul!" And Giles told them, "What each girl has, she must share with the other, unless it is a young gentlemen, in that case, no fighting."  
  
Often they went to the Bronze and danced with boys, but no beast ever bothered them, because Buffy-Red was the slayer. Girls admired them, boys wanted them, vampires were afraid of them, and men wrote songs about their beauty. No vampires ever bit them, and if they stayed out late, and night came upon them, Buffy-Red would kill all demons that tried to harm them, with the help of the easily frightened Cordy-White. And because the watcher knew they would do so, he felt little concern about them.  
  
  
Once when they were on their way home from a very serious shoppage at the mall, when their car stalled, and they were forced to sleep on the side of the rode. When they awoke, a beautiful red haired girl dressed in a shining white dress was sitting on a fallen log, near their car. The girl rose up and smiled at them kindly, disappearing into the swaying grass behind her. When Cordy-White and Buffy-Red looked around, they saw that their car had stopped just feet away from a road trap, probably created by vampires. Had their car gone just a little further they would have certainly met their doom. The two destroyed the trap, then when home to their watcher, who did some research, and told them the figure they had seen was doubtless a good wicca who watches over good teenage girls, who protect the world from Armageddon.   
  
  
Cordy-White and Buffy-Red kept themselves so beautiful, it was a enjoyment for boys to watch them at school, and for girls to aspire to be like them. Cordy-White with her long gorgeous dark hair and voluptuous figure, and Buffy-Red with energetic outlook and athletically toned body. Every night, Buffy-Red would go out and slay demons, keeping her watcher happy. And every day Cordy-White would draw pictures of demons that had not been cataloged, and also pick fresh bouquets of flowers to brighten up their library, where they did their research.   
  
  
In the early morning, after Buffy-Red had returned from patrol, the old watcher would say, "Go, Cordy-White, and bolt the door." And then they would talk of what demons had been slain that evening since the sun had gone down.   
  
  
One such night, just before daybreak, when they were about to retire to their beds, there came a knock at the door, as if someone wished to come in.   
  
"Make haste, Buffy-Red." Cried Giles, "Make haste and open the door. Perhaps it is some poor innocent soul who needs protecting from some evil creature."  
  
So Buffy-Red went and drew the bold and opened the door, thinking it was someone in direst. But instead, something with the face of a vampire and the body of a well-built man stood there. Buffy-Red cried out and ran for her stake and Cordy-White hid herself behind the watcher's desk.  
  
The vampire, however, began to speak and said, "Do not be afraid. I won't harm you. It's just that daylight it about to break, and I do not wish to turn to dust. I promise I will not harm you, for I cannot."  
  
"Poor, vampire!" cried the Watcher, "Come in and sit while we draw the curtains." Then he continued, "Come here Buffy-Red and Cordy-White. This demon will not hurt you. He means well."  
  
So they both came back, a little weary of the creature they had dedicated their lives to kill, but trusted the wise watcher.   
  
"Come hear girls." Said the vampire as he entered, "Come and entertain me with stories of your day."  
  
Giles was never interested in hearing about what interested the two teens, so both quickly grew fond of this demon, who didn't once interrupt them. Soon both grew comfortable enough with him to train with him, and practice their fighting skills against him. The vampire bore their hits, jabs, and kicks with good tempers, only when they went too far did he cry out:  
  
"ILeave me my life, you lovely girls,  
Cordy-White and Buffy-Red,  
Or you will never find a handsome man to wed."/I  
  
  
When bedtime came, and the others had gone to bed, the watcher said to the vampire, "You may sleep in a guestroom, if you like, and you will be safe from the sun and stakes of other hunters."  
  
As soon as the sun had set, the girls let the demon out again, and he disappeared into the shadows, and every night, just before daybreak, he'd return at a certain hour. He would sit by the fire, and listen to the girls chatter and practice with them as much as they wanted. And at last, they became so used to him at the door, it was left unbolted until their darkly well-dressed demon friend had arrived.   
  
Until one day the vampire said to Cordy-White one twilight, "Now I must go, for I have found a place to live on my own."  
  
"Why do you go demon?" asked Cordy-White.  
  
"I must go and protect the innocent, fore I have much to atone for, and I have fallen in love. But do not worry, for I will never be far off. I will always watch over you."  
  
Cordy-White, who normally didn't give a damn, was very saddened fore his departure, and opened the door, which he hurried through. The vampire hurried away, and was soon hidden in the shadows, where he dwelled.   
  
Soon afterwards, the watcher sent out both girls, to patrol the town. While doing so, they came across a man up a tree, with a werewolf down below. The girls looked up and stared at the two men.  
  
He glared the two beauties with fiery red eyes and cried, "Why do you stand there like idiots. Are you going to pass with out offering me any help?"  
  
"What have you done Mr. Mayor?" asked Buffy-Red.  
  
"You foolish bitch!" Cried the Mayor, "I was on my way home from a long day at the office when a wolf began to chase me! I managed to get up this tree, but the damn creature won't leave!"  
  
The two girls tried as hard as they could to draw the werewolf's attention away from the Mayor, they even offered to buy him a stake, but he wanted fresh man meat, "I will go get my watcher, and see what he says." Cried Buffy-Red at length.  
  
"Oh you crack-head young hooligan!" snarled the Mayor, "What are you going to call your watcher for. You two aren't being any help as it is. Can't think of anything quicker?"  
  
"Don't be such a loser." Snapped Cordy-White, "I've got something, you jerk." And pulling out her silver nail file, she stabbed the beast. Luckily, just wounding it, for it turned out to be a friend of theirs, Oz; he was in a very popular band at school.   
  
His blood, however, splattered on the Mayor's clothes, "Stupid girls! To get blood on my expensive suite! I will curse you!" Away he went, not even once looking back at the two girls who had saved him.   
  
Cordy-White snorted and turned to Buffy-Red, "Expensive my ass, that was totally a cheap Armani knock-off."  
  
"I know! And did you see his hair?" Buffy-Red questioned as they continued on his way.  
  
Sometime afterwards, Cordy-White and Buffy-Red whet to burn down a vampires' lair when they came near they saw something a lot like an ugly accountant jumping up and down near a pond, as if it were about to jump into the water. They ran up and saw the Mayor once again.   
  
"What are you doing?" Buffy-Red questioned, "You will fall into the water."  
  
"I'm not such a simpleton as you are." Replied the Mayor, "Can't you see this fish is trying to pull me in?"  
  
The man had been sitting there, doing God knows what, with some fishing line and his arm had gotten tangled, hooking it self on his cuff. And while doing so, a great pond-monster had bit the bait, seeing a tasty morsel at the end, the monster was very determined, but the Mayor wasn't about to give up his second best suit jacket (another knock off), and the monster had the upper hand. The Mayor held on to a bench that was near by, but monster pulled hard, and would soon devour him. Luckily, just then the two nymphs had arrived, and they tried to release the suit from the line, but the line was twisted too tightly around the cuff. So Buffy-Red dived in and killed the monster, unfortunately, a bit of it's slime splashed out in the course of slaying it, getting on the Mayor's suit.   
  
The Mayor saw this and cried out in great race, "You whore! Do you want to ruin all my suits! What it not enough for you to get BLOOD on my Sunday suit, now you ruin my second best suit! I dare not campaign for Mayor again, you have ruined my best suits. I wish you had been eaten by vampire before you had come here!"  
Saying so, he took off, taking a blue gem with him, without speaking another word to them, he slipped off and disappeared into the woods.  
  
  
  
Not so many days after this adventure, it chanced that the watcher sent the girls off to kill a certain demon, in the park. Their path lay across the park, where they saw the demon trying to kill their old acquaintance, the horrid Mayor. The girls at once went to attack the demon, Cordy-White keeping tight hold of the horrible dressing man, until Buffy-Red killed it.   
  
As soon, then, as the Mayor had recovered from his shock, he cried out in his icky voice, "Could you not have held me more gently? You pulled at my new jacket so hard it's all torn and full of holes. What ugly white trash you are!"  
  
With these words, he grabbed his brief case, and slipped away into his awaiting car, near the entrance of the park, and sped off.   
  
The beautiful teens were by now used to his ingratitude, and so they went on to the Bronze to party, having completed their errand early. On their way home, they crossed the same park again, and the Mayor was back, he'd emptied his brief case, which was full of beautiful jewelry, thinking no one was near. The moon shone on the lovely precious stones, with such beauty the two teens stood still to admire them.   
  
"What are you standing there gaping for?" demanded the Mayor, and his face grew red as fire with rage. He continued to yell at the maidens till a loud growling noise was heard, and a vicious vampire came charging out of the woods. The cowardly Mayor jumped up terrified, but he couldn't reach his car before the powerful vampire overtook him.   
  
Then, terror-stricken, he cried out, "Spare me, and I'll give you lots of money. And power. I will make you a god in this town. What have you fear from me, a middle age man? You wouldn't even enjoy my blood. Here, take these two wicked girls. Their blood would be sweet for you! They are young and healthy? For heaven's sake, eat them!"  
  
The vampire, however, did not take the trouble to speak, but quickly sucked the Mayor dry, and he did not speak anymore.  
  
Buffy-Red and Cordy-White were prepared to attack, when the vampire called out to them, "Cordy-White, Buffy Red, don't be afraid! Wait, and we'll return to your watcher together, after I explain."  
  
They recognized their old friend's voice immediately and dropped their stakes, and the vampire's demon visage disappeared from his face, revealing a very handsome young man.  
  
"I am a vampire, but I have a soul. My name is Angel. That man put a curse upon me, that I couldn't tell anyone I loved them, or lose the look of my demon face, until his death, or I'd lose my soul. Now that he is dead, I can confess to you Cordy-White, that I love you. With all my heart and I have been searching for this man, so I could destroy him, and return to you my love."  
  
Cordy-White took one look at his obviously designer clothes, his handsome face, great hair, and also at his kind soul, and she kissed him with all her heart, telling him, "Oh Angel, I love you too."  
  
They went home to their watcher, then Cordy-White and Buffy-Red were married. Cordy-White to Angel, and Buffy-Red to Angel's childe, Spike, whom she met and fell in love with, in a lavish ceremony, underneath the full moon. Together they shared the jewels the Mayor had left behind, living together in a lavish mansion. Angel turned the two girls, so they kept their souls, but would remain forever young. Then the five (including the watcher Giles) lived happily together, forever, protecting the world from devastation and evil demons. The red and white rose bushes were transplanted to the conservatory in the mansion, which got sunlight during the day, and all enjoyed the beauty of the plants and the offspring of the plants forever.   
  
  
I~*~ The End ~*~/I  
  
  
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End file.
